Don’t Face Your Fear

fear-dont face

We are taught to face fear and get over it. Just do it.

On the other hand, our resources are limited. We are underpowered. Fighting fear can exhaust our resources. And fear never stops coming at us, small and big.

If you are a soldier or cop, there is no alternative. You must face fear and get through it, no matter what. It’s a chosen duty. But most of us, as civilians, face fears that are intangible, delicate, tricky, long-term, ambiguous, demoralizing, lonesome, and consuming.

Fighting this kind of fear distracts us from the essential purpose of living: loving, creating, and connecting. It’s unproductive. It’s like hitting a rock with a dozen eggs.

Logically speaking, fear has a lifespan like anything else. It disappears in time. Or our memory of fear fades. Something more attractive fills our thoughts. Luck plays its role. My point is that you don’t always have to face your fear. It’s not the only way to get over it. You have options: avoid > ignore > deny > let go.

Avoid, as much as you can and as long as you can. Run away from the fear. When you stop, it is likely to bite you. Be the frontrunner. Run as fast as you can. Racing with fear leaves it always behind you. Run forward. Leave it behind.

Ignore fear totally. Don’t look at it. Absolutely don’t face it. Don’t even acknowledge the presence of it. Be oblivious of it. Pull back your attention from it and shut your awareness off.

Deny your fear. Think that you have no fear. Cleary and verbally tell yourself that you don’t have fear. Think that you don’t even have room for fear in your life. Simply deny it.

When you recognize and face fear, you give it an identity. You are giving the stranger his ID card. When you accept fear, you are inviting it into your mind, giving it a room to stay. The stranger now has legitimate room to make a mess. To kick him out of your mind would take a bloody full scale war.

You have to ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

2 thoughts on “Don’t Face Your Fear

  1. Working in an environment where people frequently suffer from high anxiety levels ,often needing social stories to cope with concerns that fly below other people’s radar, I have found that most of these strategies create stress over time if not addressed. I say cautiously approach your fear from the side, look at it timidly through your open fingers. Gingerly examine it as best you can and then wholeheartedly humiliate and belittle it until you laugh out loud. Revisit your previous effective attack by adding ‘it’s ok, I do believe I sorted you out good and proper last time you showed up here and I was the winner!’

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